The objective of this project is to create a docuseries to tackle and stop the occurrences of school and school related shootings head on, bring about awareness of how our authoritative system is failing us, what needs to be adjusted to close the ever increasing divide between "us" and "them" so trust can be built between citizens and those in authority, and, overall, put an end to school and school related shootings.
I am sharing an excerpt of the 18 page brief that caused my filmographer to be so very excited and inspired to join my journey to make this true story public and make a huge positive difference in the world.
When the described event occurred, it made international news.
When I wrote of my experience of the event four years later, the excerpt you will find below, I received letters from people globally. They shared with me how my story has changed their lives. One mother said to me, "You made me remember why I had children in the first place. I will no longer take them for granted. Thank you." One daughter said to me, "Last night, I slept with my mother for the first time in years. Thank you."
An attorney created a couple TikTok video of my story. The short video received over 2 million views. The longer video, even more.
Every person I speak with who learns of my story tells me that their lives have been changed. Recently I met a man visiting from another country. In an email following his return, he wrote to me saying, "I met you randomly, and in the spance of three wonderful hours, you have changed my entire life and inspired how I will move forward."
Yet, sharing my story one person at a time is very slow progress. We need to reach a much larger audience. This whole thing is much bigger than I am, and I cannot carry this alone. People want to know this story. There is SO VERY MUCH to share, and what I am sharing with you here is only a glance at what is to come.
I have an amazing production team who are all eager to make this docuseries a reality. Every one of my team members has absolute faith in the difference my story will bring to the future of our society.
Everyone benefits with this story reaching a wide audience. Everyone.
We need the funding in order to move forward. By funding this project, YOU are making our endeavors possible and YOU are changing our world into a place where we all want to be. We cannot do this without you.
I will never, ever get my daughter back. There is no amount of money that will justify or make losing her okay in any way. There is nothing that can justify what happened leading up to her murder or what I have had to endure through the years following her murder. However, I CAN turn my loss into your benefit by helping create a society where these things no longer happen and where no one else needs to experience what I live with every moment of every day.
Please help us make a real, lasting difference. We can't do it without you.
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Written March 2018:
Okay folks, listen up!!
School shootings, on and off campus!!!
I NEED YOUR HELP!!!
I am currently writing something up to share with all of you concerning the litigation for Ana’s murder. We are in desperate need of help or the school and police department will get away with negligence and gross negligence.
Today Sandra Day O’Connor HS had a reported gun on campus or a threat to shoot up the school. They only suspended the boy.
Sound familiar?
The young man that conducted the Florida shooting was suspended for his conduct.
He later murdered 17 people by opening fire on campus.
Matthew had previous reported and documented issues. The most recent was a 3 day suspension for assault on another student. The day he killed my daughter, it was reported to administration (1) Matthew was on campus 3/7/14 (2) someone saw a gun in campus 3/7/14.
A lockdown was NOT conducted.
They claim it was nothing but rumors.
Ana was kept in the office all day by administration. I was not contacted by the school nor was I contacted the previous day when she was interviewed by a police officer, who is also a SRO, who was taking her legal statement for a police report on a death threat against another student Ana received and reported. (She was 16 and therefore a minor) I was not contacted by the school or SRO when Ana told them she was going to smooth things over with Matthew. They said to her that they didn’t think it was a good idea but then let her walk off campus.
My daughter was shot 5 times in the back that day. 5 times in the back while she ran away from Matthew. Then Matthew shot himself in the head.
It was just after noon.
The faculty at the school had a meeting and informed everyone.
Still… no-one called me.
I heard from a friend who heard from her daughter who heard someone say on Twitter that my daughter was involved in a shooting.
That’s how I found out.
So much for rumors.
My daughter was shot and is dead. It is a few hours after the murder/suicide when I show up on scene. A police officer was talking to someone on the sidewalk when I asked for help. He told me he was off duty and to go around the corner. As I quickly, frantically walk that way I pass a group of teenagers and ask them about my daughter. One of the girls said, “She’s dead.”
I round the corner. There are police cars and police vans and police tape and media and onlookers everywhere… And still no-one called me.
I went to the first official looking person. I went headlong up to him, and in my desperation I said, “Where the fuck is my daughter?”
I was escorted to where they would inform me of the event.
I still picture her phone ringing as I called her over and over. I picture her phone in her pocket as it received my text messages. I still picture her laying there, phone in her pocket, and her… she will never, ever read or answer them.
My Ana… I never knew I could miss someone so much or that this kind of pain existed.
The last time I saw her was when I dropped her off at school that morning, just hours before… she was wearing her denim shorts, plad shirt, and her Chucks with her skull backpack over her shoulder. As she left the truck I said, “I love you, Banana.” She replied, “I love you too, mom.”
Those were our last words.
The next time I saw her… she was laying on a slab after the autopsy. The feel of her skin. The sound of nothing as I rested my head on her chest. I will never unfeel or unhear those moments.
The sound of air passing through lungs, the sound of a heart beat… the feel of warm, living, healthy skin. Those are beautiful things. They are beautiful and precious. And with Ana… they were gone. It is all so unnatural and wrong.
I have been fighting with the school and the police department for nearly four years now. They claim they are not responsible because the shooting didn’t happen on campus. They claim that they had no reason to believe she was in danger. They claim that reports of Matthew being on campus and a gun being on campus were just rumors. They claim there was no reason to conduct a lockdown.
Why, then, did they keep Ana in the office all day that day? Why did they take her phone all day that day? Why did they tell her it wasn’t a good idea for her to go fix things with Matthew? Why didn’t they call me? And as far as rumors go, well, it appears rumors can be and often are truths.
Because there is no accountability and government entities are privy to protections the rest of us are not, I have to prove I have the right to sue them. Then, if granted by a judge, I can go forward to a jury trial. That is… IF…
The problem we are facing is the witnesses we have testimony from have either changed their story or have been discounted by the defense. I know how difficult this process is. It sucks. But I am pursuing truth, accountability, and the opportunity to prevent further events such as this… and what happened in Florida.
Unfortunately, there are people out there who know the truth and they are too afraid to speak up. Unless the people who know what happened: teachers, student teachers, faculty, staff, students, officers, parents, etc., do the right thing and speak up, the school and the police department will get away with their blatant disregard for student safety and they will not be held accountable for my daughter’s murder and her killers suicide.
I feel bad for Matthew. He was hurting and crying for help. Instead of being helped, he was ostracized and pushed along for the next person to deal with… making his view of himself and the world worse each time. That poor, troubled, hurting child.
Passing the buck. Turning a blind eye.
The principal called me the Monday following Ana’s murder. He apologized and said, “We really dropped the ball.”
That was my first and only call. Three days later.
It didn’t bring Ana back. It didn’t prevent school or school related shootings.
I need help.
I need you to talk about what happened. I need you to talk about my daughter’s murder. I need you to stand up, speak up, and tell the truth. I NEED people to come forward and testify what they know. I promise, it won’t be worse than what I have been through, and I’m still kicking.
I need you to do what is good and right.
I need people who saw Matthew on campus and reported it to administration. I need people who saw the gun on campus and reported it to administration. I need people who were eyes and ears in the office that day. March, 7th 2014.
If people don’t speak up they are allowing yet another school shooting. More dead children. More grieving families. More broken parents. More lost siblings. More tormented friends and acquaintances. More schools that will get away with murder.
If you do not speak up, it is very possible that the assigned judge rules in favor of the defense in the summary of judgement. This means I was not granted the right to sue by that judge. That means no trial in September. That means we go to the court of appeals. That means more time and more money. That means that no precedent has been set and the madness continues.
And all that needs to happen is the people that know put aside their fears and speak up. Then we can stop another tragedy. Then we can begin healing.
Even if we stopped just one… That is worth all the effort.
Ana was a hero that day. She was a hero leading up to that day. She is a hero even now. But that day… And leading up to that day… she stopped Matthew from conducting a school shooting. Despite his video practicing with a firearm in January, ’14 and saying, “This will do.” Despite him claiming the desire to commit suicide but didn’t want to go out alone. Despite his dysfunctional family and the schools desire to not be troubled by him… Ana stopped him from killing the girl he threatened and stopped him from opening fire at the school.
Ana is my hero. And I miss her.
Please, speak up. Don’t let this go on.
It seems I said most of what I intended to say in this post. Though there is much more to tell. I have been holding in so much I suppose it wasn’t going to wait. Maybe I’ll write more later… but this was hard. I really need people to come forward .
☆Those who have been restrained and constrained from speaking up need to feel free to do so now.
It’s time to do the right thing, be transparent, and be lead by truth. Thank you and thank your heart. And feel free to share this post and my story
