Furious Angel, 2016, Sarah J., Mad artist

Imagine a scenario: in the future, when your descendants look back at history, they find a completely distorted image of who you truly were as a human being. Would that matter to you?

Now consider this: when faced with challenges in your life, do you hold onto hope that you will overcome them or find solace in the support of your loved ones who can help you navigate through grief and stress?

Have you ever experienced the pain of bullying, degradation, or being subjected to horrifying names?

Have you been a victim of rape, drugging, or physical harm such as a dislocated jaw or broken bones, whether in childhood or adulthood?

Have you ever felt the grip of strangulation, even to the point of death?

Have you ever reached out to an authority figure for help, only to be met with anger and dismissive comments like "You're just seeking attention!"?

Or have you experienced the devastating reality of being violated once again by those who are supposed to provide care, such as correctional officers or emergency room nurses?

Now, imagine a transformed world where the voices of the vulnerable are amplified, where healing and empowerment take center stage.

Through our transformative workshops, individuals find solace, strength, and a renewed sense of purpose.

They emerge as survivors, no longer defined by their past traumas. The wounds of the past become the catalyst for creating something beautiful and meaningful.

In our workshops, participants discover a supportive community that understands their struggles and provides a safe space for growth and healing.

Art it Out workshop (autobiography art) WHORE, acrylic on canvas, 2018, Sarah J., mad artist

In a world filled with anger, injustice, and a lack of support, vulnerable populations face immense challenges.

They endure bullying, degradation, and unspeakable acts of violence.

Seeking help often leads to dismissive responses and further victimization, leaving them feeling unheard and isolated.

The road to recovery seems bleak and daunting, with little hope for a brighter future.

Now, I would like to share a little bit about my background and why I have such an incredible passion to bring this to life because I will no longer be silenced. 

From the tender age of 6, I shouldered the responsibility of caring for myself and others in an incredibly turbulent and violent household. Despite countless attempts to beat me down and rob me of my potential to fuel their addictions, I always found the strength to rise again.

I strived to maintain peace and moved forward, yearning for a protector who would nurture my innate gifts.

Throughout my journey, I have assumed diverse roles, from managing bars, serving, and even modelling as an adult entertainer to make ends meet. I also ventured into triage work at Telehealth Ontario and pursued 911 dispatch training at Fanshawe College. The incident that initiated this chain of events came as a turning point. Being adept at crisis management and defusing tense situations, I found solace in helping others and learned to cultivate resilience. Work became my sanctuary, and my commitment to it earned appreciation from my employers, who recognized my unwavering dedication. Not having a husband or children, I embraced my independence, prioritizing financial stability above all else. Little did I know about women's shelters at that time, and I am immensely grateful for that ignorance, as it has shaped the narrative of my story.

Ironically, I felt safer working in biker bars and even with violent ex-partners than I did under the "care" of so-called "helping" professionals. Never before had I relinquished control over whether I would endure beatings or not. However, between 2016 and 2022, it seemed as though the attacks were coming from all directions. I don't mean to complain; I'm merely stating the harsh reality. Trust became an elusive concept, and I found myself relying on no one.

Believing that uncovering the truth would set me free, I was disheartened to realize that my truth only brought further distress.

I exist as a paradox, embodying contrasting elements of intelligence, accomplishments, and talent. Despite being repeatedly knocked down, I have risen time and time again, refusing to succumb to adversity.

I thought I had experienced rock bottom, until my trial for self-defence turned into a spectacle, amplifying the agony in my heart and shattering my sense of loyalty. I was forced to confront the very people I had remained loyal to, only to be met with betrayal.

My journey led me back to a city where I knew no one, haunted by a cycle of being disregarded due to a man's infidelity with my sister, labelling our entire relationship as imaginary and branding me as crazy.

I was then tantalized with resources that were never extended to me, effectively trapping me in unfamiliar territory.

It all traced back to my family, a source of both violence and entrapment. I was incarcerated for daring to demand an end to the abuse I had endured, just when I had begun to find healing for myself and others. This was never how my life was supposed to unfold or conclude. I became enslaved by weak individuals who resorted to lies, intimidation, and attacks simply because I refused to comply.

Eventually, I signed my way out, deemed a flight risk, while knowing that this decision handed him the power to evict me, aware that I had no means of transportation and leaving behind everything I owned, including my poignant solo art exhibition painting advocating against domestic violence, as well as my beloved furry companions who had been by my side for a decade. With a heavy heart, I fled back to where it all began, back to square one.

Now I’m ready to fully heal, to help others heal, all I need is a space to call my own, where we can run our programs.

A space for Mad Artists like me. A place where we can learn our value, express our justifiable anger in a safe space, gain our voices, and regain trust within ourselves, others and our community.

Smash Studio Co is a social enterprise. Our ultimate mission is suicide prevention by offering those in the vulnerable sector - those coming from domestic violence - a place to “art it out”.

Testimonials

"Founding the Smash Studio collective Sarah has been casting light upon these misunderstood and downtrodden street artists as well as opening her own home to artists who are suffering from multiple mental disorders and trauma-related issues that have plagued them their entire lives.

She believes in them and their talents when no one else will. She's an inspirational and supportive influence helping to nurture their artistic ideas and creations helping to bring them into public view."

Fitzy Dickwell

poet, visual artist, comedian, and mad artist (b. Daniel Alexander MacKinnon)

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“I submitted a poem to be published through a local Chatham Kent Magazine called Ignite. I wanted to let you know that the 4th section is about you. Hope all is going well. Next time you’re down this way, we should go to coffee…

....I think very highly of you and I wanted to put it in writing somehow. When I was allowed to submit a poem I wanted each section to be about somebody who had an impact on my life. You’ve inspired me to be a better person and you showed me how to crawl out of the much that I was in.”

The Company I Keep, 2023, Keith @thinkingfellers, IGNITE magazine

You can be a part of this incredible journey towards personal transformation. Our program offers a comprehensive and compassionate approach, combining therapeutic techniques, artistic expression, and a nurturing environment. By joining our workshops, you will gain invaluable tools to overcome adversity, process trauma, and reclaim your voice. Our experienced facilitators and supportive community will guide you through the healing process, empowering you to embrace your true potential. Together, we will build a bridge to a brighter future, where you can thrive and create a life of resilience, joy, and empowerment. Take the first step and join us on this transformative path today.

You can read more about my incredible journey and the unexpected lives who touched my heart and joined my side...shedding light back unto "stats"

'Crows Light Into Darkness' is a transformative community event that aims to shed light on the challenges faced by vulnerable populations. Inspired by my journey of standing against violence in any circumstance...cont'd.